Who is the Patron Saint of sheds anyway?!

Down at our first HelpX again in Sydney and all I will write on this blog in capital letters is 'SHED'. Yes, our humble abode is that friggin shed again. Those of you who aren't familiar with it - go and have a look at one of my previous blogs/photos. Oh how we have fallen from grace-back down the ladder from the very top rung to the bottom! This time it's for FOUR WEEKS. Suppose it'll get me ready for the squalor that awaits me in Thailand.


Oh and please those of you that speak to me on Skype/Facebook-don't be mentioning it publicly on my wall as Jimbo will see it and could boot us out!!


This is hilarious-maybe I'll just rearrange my flights into Thailand for tomorrow. I'm so over this shed business. "Dear Holy, Patron Saint of wooden sheds, take me away from here now"...ok I've closed my eyes and tapped my red, ruby shoes like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz)...and it doesn't seem to have worked- the shed is still here and I'm still sitting on the lovely 'Welcome' step outside the door :)

The 'Welcome' sign outside the shed door

Chicken poo (looks like it had the dose of the runs judging by the above) which I'm always walking in - it's everywhere

Pathway to my humble abode - the shed is in the background (it's been painted since last time - yippeee!)

Slumdog millionaire



Brisbane Quayside



Botanic Gardens, Brisbane

Brisbane Quayside

Had a great time living the millionaires lifestyle but decided to travel onwards and upwards after about 10 days or so. Was great watching movies in an in-house cinema, going to my own private gym in the house and ducking and diving in and out of the pool after I'd finished my work.  But one thing I can say for definite, is that money doesn't buy happiness.  The host was lovely and had a fantastic time, but was unhappy with the goings on in her life, despite the wealth and fancy lifestyle around her.  I know some of you have told me you don't believe me that I was staying there even after the link I sent, but I will post up some pics when I get near a decent computer.

Sometimes it's hard to leave these people and places, as you tend to fill a bit of a void in their lives. Yes, you work for them but you also befriend them and on most occasions you end up giving them an extra ear to listen to with their problems, or a fun night out which they may not have had in ages, or just solely for the company of someone else to talk to. Some of the stories that you end up hearing...my God, I could write a book! On all of our HelpX, everyone has wanted us to stay longer as they grow a bond with you and they enjoy the company of having others around.

So off it was up to Brisbane for 3 days to meet friends. What a great wee city. Not as busy as Sydney - much slower pace of life without the rat-race.  I managed to meet up with cousins I never knew I had. A few months back my cousins came over to Ireland searching their family tree and called upon my parents house and they found out I was travelling up the east coast of Oz so we swapped emails and I finally got to meet them and try and fill in some holes in the family tree.
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Mind you, I was pretty awful at it - I think Brian was wondering if I knew who anyone was in my family.  He would say..."So, what do you call the names of the children of your father's brothers and sisters?'... and I was like..'Emmm...not really sure, that person lives in Africa and has 2 or 3 kids, but I don't know their names'??? I mean, I think I met my uncle from Africa once when I was about 5, so that doesn't really count in my book - I completely baffled the poor man. I'm sure he wished I never got in contact. It was worse when he asked me the dates of birth and exact year of my brothers and sisters...I was sweating at this stage - think I gave him the wrong year for that too!! Talk about feeling like a complete tit at times, but I did enjoy listening to them, eating nice cake and getting to see another side of Brisbane for free.

So where am I now? Sydney, that's where. Plans to travel by bus/train further on up the coast were shelved as it's knackering doing the HelpX all the time and people want you to stay for up to 7 days at least, so I'd still be making my way up there in the year 2025.  Decided to fly back down again and join in the celebrations for Australia Day here in Sydney but if I get a chance will fly up to Cairns for a few days before I leave. Have paid work here also which starts on Monday, which is great, as Oz burns a huge hole in your pocket. If it hadn't been for HelpX I'd have had to leave here weeks ago. Have managed to make arrangements with the lovely Strongy and Stace  (who I met in S.America) to go to Uluru in mid-late February.

Have also booked my flights out of Sydney and into Bangkok, Thailand for 4th March. Even if I wanted to stay more in Oz, I couldn't as my 3 months visa is up and they'll be kicking me out of the country. Me, being me, booked the flights, had a look at the time I arrive in Bangkok and felt like slapping myself in the head. Arrive at midnight, so rather than try and find somewhere to stay (as I'll be by myself again on the road) I'll be slumming it up with the have-nots in the local airport - as long as it isn't like my airport sleep or lack of it in Santiago, then I shall be grand.

My plans?? Hope to spend about 3 days in the city of Bangkok - so far everyone is telling me it's a hole, so will then maybe try and find my way to Phuket. No idea how I'll get there, but will cross that bridge closer to the time. What will I be doing in Phuket?? Well, if I told you all you'd be thinking that it wouldn't be your idea of travel...more like torture, but is just right up my street, for those who know what I'm like. So you'll just have to wait and see!

Surfers Paradise, Queensland

The pool in the millionaires house I stayed in

Kitchen area

Jetty at the bottom of their garden

Boat



My new relatives I found from Brisbane - Judy, Brian and Joe Blaney with me!



Brisbane City from Mount Coogtha lookout

I took myself on a mangrove walk around the city - stunning!

The luck of the Irish has arrived

Jaysus, will some of ye quit pressuring me to update my blog. Those ones without Facebook, who only use emails - you know who you are ;) I mean, I'm so busy working and living the life of Riley right now, I have no time for plebians.

Ok, so no doubt some of you know that I'm now in a millionaires house. Everytime I say this, I feel like jumping up and down and screeching at the top of my voice, but, I'm actually in a plush house (dawhling).  Others are probably goin..yeah, yeah Mary, full of shite as per usual.  Well, I shit you not - I will send you a youtube link that the owner sent me.

Of course, when I received it both myself and Auds near fell off the chair in excitement. Gone where the sheds of before, down with that sort of thing (from Father Ted, for those of you that are clueless), this time I bagged the millionaire. Well, not quite bagged it, but hit lucky with the HelpX once again and the god of millionaires shone down on us, because to be quite honest, I think it was time to meet/stay with one as we've met so many before!

But before I piss you all off, as I always do, I'll quickly fill you in on where I have been up to now. Obviously on my last 'Junior' blog (God I miss him already...no longer attached/dangling on my big, pink bag - there's a tag there left with nothingness - a void!! ha,ha) I told you I was in Crescent Head on a surfaris camp and gave you a link. Had a great 2 weeks there and did the usual things from cleaning dorms, preparation of food, sucking of spiders with hoovers, getting bitten loads by mozzies and had two friends in my mattress called Tim and Tom, the two fleas who loved to have a wee bite now and again, before I killed the wee b*stards with lots of fumigation. Effin dogs and cats/sandfleas or whatever - biting insects everywhere.

And the Aussies put up with this on a daily basis -you'd be chattin to em and then they'd say, "Have been bitten loads by fleas in my bedroom" as if it was nothing to them. Horrified I was, until the same happened to me and then you just have to get used to it. Poor Auds, if she keeps getting bitten anymore, will just turn into a large, pus filled cyst and end up hospitalised if she's not careful.  The local pharmacy in Crescent Head probably ran out of insect repellent as she's been practically living in a film of DEET for the last while, which unfortunately for her is not quite working. Night-time sees her dressed as an eskimo,with the sweat lashing off her - fear of being bitten once again and covered up just to make sure. Mornings in Crescent Head, were greeted with the workers asking each other how many bites they got the previous night/showing tiny red marks to larger ones all over the body. 4am was my wake-up, sorry scratch-up call. The bites drove me mad with itch at the same time, leaving me scratching and sleep deprived.

I had a great time. Before work I'd maybe go for a cycle down to the beach, then run barefoot in the sand, with the wind whistling in my ears and the water lapping up my legs - you can't feel the heat as much as there's a beautiful sea breeze preventing you from overheating and exploding with the humidity.  Met some lovely workers there, played the guitar at night times - teaching each other various chords, spent nigths with a few cold beers sitting in the sun in our wee workers house. Got to go surfing a few times when there were groups at the lodge.  It was a pretty chilled place alright. Gave us both a come-down from the madness of Sydney for a wee while.NYE was different - a band out on the lawn with everyone around. I got stuck with a guy who reared chooks (chickens)and he bored the hell out of me. I was informed of the diseases they can catch up to how to aerate the soil - thank God we went to the beach to see in 2012, otherwise a murder may have occurred on the grounds.

But after 2 weeks, my feet started to get itchy so it was time for a wee change. People called that place the 'black hole' as backpackers/workers always stayed for weeks/months on end and always went back. I won't be falling down the black hole - had fun but it was time to uproot for another adventure.

So out came the HelpX and typed in 'Surfers Paradise' and got a response from a lovely lady who was looking for people to help out around her house/garden and help with her 2 year old son, as she has very severe back pain. Emails passed to and fro deciding on the dates to arrive and then when that happened, the last email had a link of their house ($2.2 million) and what we'd be living in. Before I send you the youtube video so you can see for yourself I'll just add a couple of wee things. The couple are just lovely and originally from the UK and own their own business in the beauty industry, their wee son is just adorable and the area they live in is beautiful. Pool outside, sauna inside, their own jetty with a 30ft boat, which we'll be cruising on Sunday, have our private en-suite bedroom...the lot!!  So life has been hard the last few days - (not) - what a way to spend my birthday. In Queensland now and the weather resembles that of a fan-assisted oven and my feet sometimes feel as though they have elephantitis, as they keep swelling as it's so warm and humid.

Alright plebians, I must go now - heading off in the Jaguar later into a nice area of town for a few post-birthday drinks.  Within 6 hours of meeting us and chatting away, they've loved the craic. This HelpX is some life - you could never do this just backpacking - so much variation to everything.  Ok, tally-ho peeps, must go now, things to do!

Here is the youtube link I was sent for all you Doubting Thomas' out there. They were trying to sell their house and sortof made up their own video. The house is still up for sale, but this where you'll find our abode for the next week or so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UmATKo9Cjg

Good-bye Junior

I finally got rid of Junior, (my sleeping bag)the wee shite. Well, you can all tell how bored I was sitting for 7 hours on a train up the east coast of Oz – so I composed a poem to my wee mate. Yes, I think I need to be seen by someone in a white coat sometime soon!

'Junior'

The time has now come to say good-bye,

My dear little friend, you’ve nearly made me cry.

We’ve had our ups and plenty of downs,

And on my face, were etched lots of frowns.

There were lots of times you were badly mistreated,

All because you left me either cold or over-heated.

Junior, you’ve given me the chance to reminisce,

Of travels past and present, that I’m sure to miss.

In Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia and Peru,

I nearly ended up in the Mental all ‘cos of you.

Many a night, I usually froze to my death,

In Huacahina desert, it could have been my last breath.

Sleeping there freezing under the stars in the sky,

I gravitated towards anything that was dry.

I awoke in the morning completely bleary eyed,

With a spider bite to add to the pain in my side.

‘Why?’ I sometimes ask, did you do this to me?

You were far too small, you should have been free.

Many a times I thought of throwing you in the bin,

Or packing you off to my next of kin.

But I’m glad I held onto you for a little while more,

‘Cos in New Zealand, the temperature froze me to my core.

There were nights you tried your very best,

But you only damn well covered me up to my chest.

Now I’m in Oz, your services are no longer required,

You’ve added 3 kilos to my pack, making me tired.

I’ve had enough of looking like a mule,

And, you, dangling on my back, does not make me cool.

All for the sake of saving a fiver at the till,

Enough was enough, I’d had my fill.

So I carried you down to the local Oz post,

Asked the woman at the counter, ‘How much to the Irish coast?’

Out came a box, with the proper dimensions,

You were signed, sealed and delivered for the cost of a weekly pension.

Where you are now, I haven’t a clue,

I sent you by Sea mail, where in 6 weeks you’ll be due.

To arrive at my home – the County of Down,

Downpatrick, the place, of my little town.

See the photos of Junior below. Just to let you all know, I've arrived safely in Crescent Head in the surfer camp. Great here so far, so chilled out - learning to surf next Monday, which will be cool. Spend 4-5 hours working and getting the lodge ready for the surfers - cleaning, room maintenance, preparation of the food..the usual stuff that goes on here. Spending NYE with the crew and backpackers here on the local beach. As the sun sets there'll be a bonfire, few drinks and some music to say hello to 2012. Rather than me boring you all with going on about the place you can see for yourselves. Go to http://www.surfaris.com/ and you'll see what happens here/where exactly I am.

Happy New Year everyone - I've posted a few of my Christmas Day pics on a blog before this so have a look there also.



Junior - unravelled





Junior!



Photos of Christmas Eve/Day in Sydney

Below are a few pics (only the sensible ones) of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day Cruise on Sydney Harbour. Had a fantastic Christmas that lasted for three days. That place is bad for your health, but I loved all the madness in that brilliant city. Looking forward to getting back down there again before I leave for SE Asia.

Santa didn't forget about me - I was a good girl!

At Jim's house on Xmas Eve

Jim, with Santa

Darling Harbour, Xmas Day cruise

The guy behind has obviously eaten too much turkey!

Sydney Opera House and Bridge

Sydney CBD

Sydney Opera House

Me and Auds

Audrey in the Xmas spirit

Our Santa pressies to each other!

Our plush pad over Christmas in Darling Harbour

My bed - OMG - haven't had this comfort in months!!

Only in Oz

Nearly two weeks have flown past and quite a bit has happened in that time. To update you all, we've moved out of the work-shed and have a proper room. To be fair to our hosts, they didn't want to let any helpers down, so agreed to take too many and crammed us all in (so feel a slight twang of guilt with my last blog). Needless to say, when two Germans decided to leave a few days after our arrival, it wasn't greeted with any sadness - we were happy to get the hell outta that shed - don't think we'd have lasted two weeks.

So what's been happening? Found out that because our host Jimbo took on too many people, he decided to loan one off to his mate Keith. Well, talk about raging - we arrived about 2 hours too early. The other lucky sod of an Italian helper ended up in a millionnaire's house and there we were in a fecking shed.  Keith owns his own warehouse/factory, in I suppose you could say, Anne Summer's style.  Got to meet him in his factory before viewing his house and there were all kinds of 'toys'/DVD's etc jam packed to the roof. Had a wee tour of the place and think the blood had drained from our faces with some of the toys on show.

His house is known locally as 'The Titanic' - looks like it from the front, the corridors have ceiling lights that go on with each step you take, there's a jacuzzi in his room, with one being built outdoors, an indoor bar which is being finished, plush furniture, a room for security cameras, several cars in the garage, with the Porsche off being spray painted.  But he was so dead on and down to earth - made his money in the sex industry and there I was quietly cursing that lucky Italian git who'd managed to get in before us. Spent a while comparing the shed with what could have been. Ah well, Murphy's Law - (I'd love to give that Murphy guy a good boot).

Every morning, we go with Jim, our lovely host, to his workplace, leaving at 8am and returning at 5pm. He has two factories - one, which is his own shampoo/conditioner business, and the other a factory that sells barber poles and machinery that can fill anything from small sachets of butter, to larger liquid products.  Learnt some of the tricks of the trade already. Anyone out there buying really expensive shampoo/conditioner soon - I wouldn't bother. The expensive shampoo/conditioner (you know the one when you're at the hair salon and the stylist swears blind that this will help your dryness/spilt ends/stop you from balding for the cost of an arm and a leg?) is exactly the same as Lidl's budget brand or whatever other cheaper one..so save yer money -buy budget (that's me off the tanoy now) They're all exactly the same, the only difference is the hair salon fills up their own bottles.

He makes up the products with all the nice smells and so on, then ships them off in containers to local hairdressers or elsewhere around Australia. When this has been done, he'll treat us to lunch each day, and on somedays, a bit of Geocaching (it's actually quite fun), but you do look like a complete moron trying to find a tiny, magnetic thingymajig, stuck underneath a bridge/building/in bushland somewhere and not looking suspicious when members of the public (or muggles as they are called to Geocachers) pass by. If this happens, then you are meant to speak loudly about the engineering of the bridge/building (?! ) to prevent yourself from looking suspicious or being picked up by the cops. Other times have been spent learning about Shares on the stockmarket. Damn, these self-made millionnaires know how to make money quick - sickening really, but amazing to see thousands of dollars literally being made within the space of 24 hours. 

Work with Jimbo finishes on Friday and then Saturday sees us heading down to Darling Harbour to our plush apartment (that I managed to get on the cheap).  However, Jim, doesn't want us leaving and has tried his best to keep us with him, by offering paid work, finding myself teaching over here (which pays at least $80,000 a year...wha?!! - which is brilliant) and staying with him. Auds has the opportunity of a bit of work when she comes back down to Sydney before going back home, whilst I'll move on to SE Asia. 

He has been so sweet and both him/his wife want us back up on Christmas Eve to celebrate with his family. He told us we were now part of his family, as he has appreciated the work that we've done with him both at the factory and his house. So, not wanting to turn him down, we'll zip back up on the train from our luxury pad and have Christmas Dinner/presents with them - well, it would be rude to turn down the offer of turkey and stuffing!

Christmas Day will be out on Sydney Harbour cruising around for lunch. The two of us are going to find some cheapo gifts from Paddy's Markets in Sydney, for around $20 and wrap them up so we've got something to open on Christmas Day. In the afternoon, we'll be enjoying the free 'refreshments' (yeah, ok, free alcohol included in the price) on our cruise boat and then meet up with a few Downpatrick people (the place is full of them) who we spent last weekend with in Sydney.  The amount of Irish people here making an absolute fortune is unbelievable. One person I met earns $30 an hour, to turn a stop/go sign in the middle of a road (Cosh, it's your Jenny!!) - that's more than I earn for teaching in an hour! Oz is definitely the land of opportunity alright, and it's far better than New Zealand - there are actually people here - no tumbleweed towns as yet.

After the 27th, then it's up the coast. Next stop - Crescent Head, which is between Sydney and Byron Bay. Hoped to get to Byron Bay for NYE, but accommodation was completely full.  So off I went and checked out some more HelpX - this time round it's working with a surfschool up there who have weeks/weekends for backpackers/tourists who want to learn how to surf. I'll be working (I do actually work for those of you who wrongly think my life is a holiday) in return for free food/accommodation and some surfing lessons. So it's been great so far in Oz.  Next time I blog, I'll be speaking in surfer dude talk, living in a surf-shack, have the body of a model, with some surfer dude hanging off my arm...oops, sorry, went off in a daze just there.

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas and a fantastic New Year, wherever you may be.  May 2012 be a good year for you all.  Enjoy all the turkey/stuffing/festivities with your family and friends x

Who needs I'm a Celebrity

Before you all have a laugh at my expense, I’ll fill you in on my arrival into Australia. Have had a great 5 days so far.  Arrived and stayed at a friend of Audrey’s which was about 10 minutes commute from Sydney CBD. On our days out to the city, I took Auds on a walking tour of all the highlights and sights that Sydney has to offer – Chinatown, King’s Cross red light district (my old living quarters from 2005..not the lap-dancing clubs, but I did live in a house there), gay Oxford Street, Coogee Beach, Paddy’s Market, Darling Harbour, the Opera House, Sydney Bridge, Circular Quay, the list goes on…I’m sure you get my drift. Had a couple of great wee nights out. 

Today, however, was the start of our HelpX work in a place called Peakhurst which is about 30 minutes by train from central Sydney. Off we went, like mules carrying our heavy bags (I’ve already thrown stuff out, but have no idea why my bag weighs well over half of my body weight) and arrived at this suburb. Got picked up by our host. They live in a really nice area – big, detached houses, nice cars outside and then there was our house. Found in the corner of the park, covered by trees we jumped out of the car to see the place. Now, originally, they had said that there was space in the house for helpers but apparently 5 people came along this week, so rooms were sparse and we were told we’d have to sleep outside the main house in another dwelling.

Seemed grand, thinking to myself “Not a bother big lad – we’ll be fine with that”. Ok, so we were led to our ‘dwelling’ which was up a pathway through their allotment, past the chickens (and their shit), the hives of bees (we were told not to wear any perfume in case they attacked us) to our ‘dwelling’ …it is a work shed. A shed that can only be described as falling apart. The roof has a bow in it with all the damp and looks like it will cave in at any time.  The lights on the ceiling don’t work (probably due to the damp/and the fact that we’d electrocute ourselves if they did work). The door does not close as there is no handle/lock – at present, it is being closed by the shaft of a brush.  Our bed is in the corner of the shed with manky looking blankets (I am so glad I didn’t throw out Junior, as I thought his services were no longer required here). In the other corner are tools, several boxes with things in it, pots of honey (ants have decided they’d like to live with us and the honey too), some sort of petrol/diesel as the fumes are making us high. There are spiders’ webs everywhere (just to make you aware - the spiders over here can kill a human being with one bite). 

There’s a TV and fridge that doesn’t work and a lamp stand which is providing me with the light that I need to write this. We walked into our shed to find two other helpers sieving the ants out of the honey and the floor is now sticky. There are two windows – the curtains are blankets and old rags, which have fallen down. One half of the floor has a cutting of green carpet, the other half, lino.  Our bags are sealed, never to be opened, in fear of insects making a bed there. Open the door and on the entrance is a block of wood to stand on to get in – it says ‘Welcome’ – a nice touch!!!

Open the door to our lovely wilderness outside and you will see a rat or two running across the soil, followed by the noise of crickets at night time in pitch darkness.  There’s no toilet – that is located inside the house (where everyone else is). We were provided with a head torch to make our way in the darkness in case we need the loo.  Went for a walk into the town – quite small, with shop fronts that resemble the old Supervalu complex in Downpatrick about 20 years ago when I was small. Asked a local where the nearest bar was (to check out the scene for the weekend and also have a pint to help aid sleep) and the reply was “Oh there are no bars here!”  Have been in stitches laughing all day – sure, what else can you do – what an adventure! Two weeks of this/cleaning around the house and outside the place. I’m sure the apartment on Darling Harbour on Christmas Eve for a few days will be a nice change. Who needs ‘I’m a Celebrity’ on ITV1 – am living the dream here already!


See the photos below if you don't believe me. I have also uploaded photos on some of the rest of my older blog posts of my time in South America & NZ (for those of you who don't have Facebook).

View from opposite the bed




The dodgy roof. Below is a broken fan/TV!



One of the windows

Mould - piece of wood holding the roof together



The other window - below this is the bed

The door (with the brush to keep me locked in).